I must confess that I have a small part of me that believes that my child is the cutest, the smartest and the most well behaved child in the universe. Sometimes when she cocks back her cute little leg and kicks Scott in the shins, I blindly turn away and pretend that she didn't just act like a normal toddler as my husband's cries of agony are muffled by the lying words falling out of my mouth, "oh honey she wouldn't kick you, she knows that we don't kick people in our house!" . . .uh huh rrriiiigghhtt. In fact just the other day I caught myself secretly laughing as she told me that her food was "stupid" and smelled like "poop" and she "hated it" followed by fits of laughter at her sheer audacity to say such things at THE TABLE. . .I can't wait until she stops using them at the table and starts spouting them off in the supermarket, that will be a fine day. In a responsible mommy world we don't let our three year old used words like "stupid", "poop", or "hate", we calmly teach them to stuff these exorbant emotions deep inside so when they are teenagers they yell obscenities at us and claim we never let them express how they "REALLY FEEL" as they stomp themselves out of the room and slam a door in our face, much like a three year old temper tantrum just in a bigger body. Then we calmly turn another blind eye and put on our perfect parent face as we bravely face the reality of the monsters we have created.
Of course, my child IS perfect, I am a perfect and experienced parent, and I never lose my temper. . .oh and I don't think that soothing a child with pacifiers and head-phoned movie watching marathons are bad parenting tactics at all!
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