Small Miracles

Okay I have a confession. . .I am completely crazy. . .stark raving looney tunes, put her in a straight jacket crazy!

As much as I wish I was completely sane, level headed and laid back I must admit I am a fiery ball of anxiety and rage on the inside most of the time, and the rest of the time I am hiding my head under the covers waiting for the world that definitely hates me to end. There has not ever been quite enough medication and therapy in the world to combat the crazed pendulum of emotions that tears through my brain daily.

But about five years ago something magical happened. . .I was blessed with a wild and needy and incessantly crying unpredictable little person. She forced me to get out of bed on the bad days, and to remain calm on the crazy raging days. She taught me to practice patience and to accept that life is messy. She smiled and laughed and cried and smothered me with a million kisses and thought I was spectacular even if I was a little crazy. She broke the news that my size 0 jeans wasn't worth the price I paid to get in them.

She opened my eyes to the power of God and the beauty of forgiveness. She made me open my eyes and heart to the power of possibility and new beginnings! I started my life all over again, fresh and new and extremely open and messy.

Five years later I have two amazing and strong-willed little people who stretch my patience and sanity, and force me daily to confront the issues I used to stuff away for a later day. It is impossible to hide your true self around your children, they see you at your worst, in your darkest abyss' and in your finest moments.

And they still love you and that is proof enough to me that fighting the good fight every single day is worth it. So I pull on my boots and go to the work of being a mother and a homemaker and I wipe a smile on my face because crazy or not, I am needed by two amazing girls and their future depends on what I'm doing day in and day out in our home. . .

Okay confession time over!